Children and chores: how to build shared routines at home

Dinner is over. Someone is looking for a football shirt, the youngest is building something on the floor, and the plates are still on the table. You ask for help. Then you ask again.

It is a familiar moment in family life. You want your children to contribute, but explaining every little job can feel like another job of your own.

A useful place to start is one small agreement: what needs doing, when it happens, and how much help the child needs. That gives everyone something concrete to work with.

Research offers some encouraging reasons to involve children in housework. It also gives us reasons to keep expectations realistic.

What Norwegian research tells us about children's chores

Statistics Norway's analysis of the 2022 Time Use Survey found that girls aged 9–15 spent about two and a half hours a week on housework, roughly an hour more than boys. The survey collected activity diaries in 2022–2023. These are averages describing everyday life, rather than recommended amounts of work for children. Statistics Norway, 2024.

For a family making a chore plan, this raises a useful question: do the same children always get asked to clear up because they are the quickest to notice or the easiest to persuade?

Give everyone opportunities to learn cooking, tidying and laundry. Adjust the support each child receives, and check who is quietly taking on the extra jobs.

Can chores help children develop?

A large US study found a link with children's sense of competence. Researchers followed 9,971 children. More frequent chores in kindergarten, the first year of formal schooling in the US, were associated with more positive ratings of their own abilities, relationships and life satisfaction in third grade. The analysis accounted for factors including income and parents' education, but cannot establish that chores caused the differences. White, DeBoer and Scharf, 2019.

A smaller study explored everyday thinking skills. A 2022 survey of 207 parents and guardians of children aged 5–13 linked participation in self-care and family chores with better parent-rated working memory and impulse control. Both chores and abilities were reported by adults at one point in time. Children with stronger skills may also find chores easier to do. Tepper, Howell and Bennett, 2022.

Swedish research adds a family perspective. A study published in 2006, using data from 2000 on 10–18-year-olds, found that children in two-parent families were more likely to do tasks less traditionally associated with their gender when their same-sex parent also did them. This is older observational evidence, rather than a picture of Swedish families today. Evertsson, 2006.

Together, these findings support taking children's participation seriously. They do not establish an ideal number of chores, a guaranteed improvement in school results, or a benefit from any particular app. The practical aim can be much simpler: give children a supported chance to learn something useful and contribute to the people they live with.

Which chores fit your child?

Norway's Directorate for Children, Youth and Family Affairs, Bufdir, advises parents to balance support with opportunities to try independently, adjusting expectations to the individual child. That is a helpful starting point when choosing a household task. Bufdir: Selvstendige barn.

The examples below are suggestions to adapt together. The age bands are broad starting points, not developmental requirements or research-tested thresholds.

Consider experience, energy, mobility and support needs as well as age. A child who finds spoken instructions hard to follow might prefer a picture of the finished table. Another might need to do the first step together every time for a while.

Choose equipment and materials the child can handle safely. Adults should take care of hazards such as sharp knives, hot cookware and cleaning chemicals, providing supervision appropriate to the task.

Leave room for school, rest, friends and play. Adults remain responsible for making sure the household is cared for.

Make one task easier to understand

“Help more around the house” leaves a lot for a child to work out. Try a specific agreement instead:

After dinner on Monday and Thursday, put the unbreakable plates from the table onto the kitchen counter. An adult carries anything hot or fragile.

Now the child knows the action, the occasion and the stopping point. There is less to interpret in the middle of a busy evening.

Show the task when you have time. Let the child practise alongside you, then agree which part they will try themselves next time. Keep the standard achievable: towels can be usefully folded without looking like a shop display.

For an older child, include the thinking before the task. If they are helping with packed lunches, look at what is available and add missing ingredients to the shopping list together. Gradually let them take on another step as they become comfortable with the first.

When reminders turn into arguments

Bufdir's guidance on everyday protests highlights transitions: children may be absorbed in something and need preparation before stopping. It recommends understandable agreements and clear, friendly instructions. This is parenting guidance, rather than a trial of a particular chore system. Bufdir: Barnas protester i hverdagen.

Try agreeing the timing before the task is due: “When this round finishes, we'll set the table together.” If you have agreed on two suitable jobs, let the child choose between them.

When the same task repeatedly gets stuck, look at where it stops. Does the child know the first step? Can they reach the shelf? Is the job landing just as everyone needs to leave for practice?

Change one thing and try again. Move the cups to a lower shelf, split the task into smaller parts, or choose a quieter time. Notice the contribution when it happens: “Thanks for putting the clothes away. Now we can find them tomorrow.”

Keep the plan somewhere adults can share it

A shared plan is useful when several adults handle different parts of the week. It lets the person home on Tuesday see the same agreement as the person home on Thursday.

In Famn, chores can have a description, be assigned to household members and repeat on chosen days. Keep the agreement in your household's shared Space so the adults involved can refer to it. Famn's chore guide.

For a younger child, an adult can maintain the plan and show the child a simple paper or picture version. The routine does not require the child to have a phone.

For example, the adults could add a recurring chore called “Set the table together”, describe what the child is practising, and assign the adult who will help on those evenings. Include the adults' own chores too, and share responsibility for keeping the plan current.

The app holds the agreement. Teaching, encouragement and adjustments still happen between you.

For the adult side of sharing responsibilities, see our article Who actually does what at home? Here's how you can balance the load.

A small experiment for next week

Choose one task together and try it for a week. This is a practical suggestion for getting started, not a research-tested programme.

1. Agree on the job. Pick something useful and manageable that the child is willing to practise.
2. Make it specific. Write down when it happens, what counts as finished, and who helps.
3. Try it together. Allow time to explain and make mistakes.
4. Review it briefly. Ask what was easy, what was difficult, and whether the task or timing needs to change.

If you already use Famn, add that one agreement to your shared chores. If you would like a shared place for your household's plans, explore Famn.

One useful job, understood by everyone, is enough to begin.

Sources and further reading

Sources checked on 4 September 2026. The article distinguishes observational research from parenting guidance; the examples and one-week plan are editorial suggestions. None of the cited studies evaluated Famn.

1. Egge-Hoveid, K. and Rønning, E. (2024). Barns hverdagsliv i endring. Statistics Norway, 18 December. Analysis of the 2022 Time Use Survey.
2. White, E. M., DeBoer, M. D. and Scharf, R. J. (2019). Associations Between Household Chores and Childhood Self-Competency. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 40(3), 176–182. DOI: 10.1097/DBP.0000000000000637.
3. Tepper, D. L., Howell, T. J. and Bennett, P. C. (2022). Executive functions and household chores: Does engagement in chores predict children's cognition?. Australian Occupational Therapy Journal, 69(5), 585–598. DOI: 10.1111/1440-1630.12822.
4. Evertsson, M. (2006). The reproduction of gender: housework and attitudes towards gender equality in the home among Swedish boys and girls. The British Journal of Sociology, 57(3), 415–436.
5. Bufdir (no date). Selvstendige barn. Foreldrehverdag. Norwegian parenting guidance on independence and adult support.
6. Bufdir (no date). Barnas protester i hverdagen. Foreldrehverdag. Norwegian parenting guidance on transitions and everyday routines.